Is Your Smart Phone Your Dinner Date?

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Smart phones. Are they always so smart?

I noticed the hosts of the CBS show The Talk all had their smart phones out on the table last week. I understand they want to include viewers in the opening chat, but it seemed a bit distracting to me.

A friend works with the show, so I asked her about it.

Beth Feldman, founder of Role Mommy and owner of BeyondPR says “They select the tweets before they go live so they read the tweet they have pre-selected prior to the show starting – they actually ask their ‘TweetTheTalk’ questions every day at 12:30 pm EST so if you tweet your response at that time you’ll have the best chance of getting the tweet read on air.”
Good tip. Maybe you  can participate in an upcoming broadcast.

When I’m talking with someone in person, I like to know they are listening. When we’re speaking with someone online or over the phone, we really have no way of knowing how much attention they are really giving us. In person, you can tell when someone is half-listening.

Because much of my work in public relations involves social media relations, I am highly connected online throughout the day. So are many of my friends who are also moms working in social media. I asked them how they feel about the use of smart phones during meals.

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Jo-Lynne Shane owner of Musings of a Housewife, “I think it’s okay AS LONG AS you’re not glued to it. It also depends on the company. When I’m out with bloggers, I always have it out. If I’m with family, or friends who aren’t as ‘connected’ I will usually put it in my bag and only take it out to Instagram my meal. (Bloggers relate). I try to teach my kids to keep theirs put away during meals. I don’t let them play on devices at the table while we wait for our food at a restaurant – much to their chagrin.”

Oops, my husband and I actually do sometimes let our kids play an online game using our smart phones or we’ve been known to take our iPad in with us for this very purpose. Not during the meal. But sometimes they become bored with the coloring pages and my husband and I like to download our day. We also hope it keeps them occupied enough not to distract other diners.

Dining at home is a different story. I don’t like having the devices on the table.

Julie Pron, owner of Julieverse adds, “Cellphones are always off during our family meals. It’s the one time during the day that the family gathers and converses — there are enough distractions with three kids as it is. However, when we’re out on date nights and out with friends, cellphones are on the table. I hate the distraction, but I don’t want to miss an emergency call from a sitter.”
Parents relate. One of my friends said generally you can’t live fully from behind the screen. Yes, indeed. You need unplugged interaction with your family and friends.
Kelly Whalen, owner of The Centsible Life agrees, “We have a no screen rule at mealtimes as well. It keeps everyone connected, and allows my husband and I (who both work in fields that require constant connection) to have a little breathing time. We eat out so rarely that I prefer to have phones away but we discuss beforehand usually. However, if I’m with tech loving friends that rule goes out the window.”
Connie Roberts, owner of Brain Foggles shares my strong feelings about phones at some meals. “No gadgets during family meals. When out with friends, almost everyone uses their phones for photos (especially of food), tweets, etc. so it’s part of our normal routine. The only exception for family meals is during vacation, but it’s just to take a couple of quick photos and to check in on Foursquare. It’s become a habit for me.”
I like what Katja Presnal, owner of Skimbaco Lifestyle has to say, “I believe in living the moment, not broadcasting the moment and out of respect to the other people dining with you, you should always have your phone off the table.”
Dresden Shumaker’s comments remind me of my childhood meals too.
“When I was a kid I remember early suppers at my grandparent’s house and every person at the table was reading something different. My grandmother would be flipping through catalogues, my grandfather would be deep into some massive book, mom would be rapidly reading a paperback, my uncles would be trading sections of the paper… It was actually lovely.  Reading with my family was a sort of nerdy connective group thing.”
“Now if it is just my mother and I at a meal we happily read our Kindles. When I’m eating with my son I put my devices away. However, once he starts reading I will allow him books at the table,” Shumaker, owner of Creating Motherhood, adds.
I’ve noticed this lately with my husband, which reminds me of my grandfather reading the paper at the table. My husband mostly dines alone at lunch, sometimes in a restaurant and sometimes at his desk. I know he reads the news of the day on his smart phone to pass the time while he eats. I understand and actually do the same when I’m alone. When his habit continues at home when he’s with the rest of the family, I have had to remind him to put the phone down.
I want the meal time to be when we can all look into each others eyes and share what we need to share.
How do you feel about people using smart phones while you dine or meet with them?

4 Responses to Is Your Smart Phone Your Dinner Date?

  • ConnieFoggles

    Thanks for including me in your post. Funny, how it’s gone from the newspaper, to TV and now to smartphones during meals.

    Reply
    • Rajean

      I was happy to include your input, Connie! I hope people simply pause and consider whom their dining with before choosing their phone over good company (okay, even crappy company).

      Reply
  • Lisa Frame

    I’m a no phone at the table kinda of gal. If it’s my day to monitor networks, I will have the phone there and spent a lot of time with it on the table last year. But I’m enjoying my time disconnected and that’s become even more important to me.

    Reply
    • Rajean

      True, Lisa, at times it seems hard to disconnect, it is a big part of our career, however, I have found it has become important to balance plugged in and being fully unplugged. When I’m with Social media people, I find I only bring out the phone to take photos and occasionally tweet something or make sure I’m following whom I’m with, then I put it away.

      Reply

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